A good long cry

For various reasons I have been thinking this week of death, disease, drama and the pursuit of a really good cry. Sounds like a barrel of laughs, doesn't it? Actually though, sometimes if things are bleak in your own life, it is difficult to commit to the tears, but a really gripping movie can help get the emotion out without having to do those pesky things like coping with your reality. You can cry your heart out for the people on screen, and then leave them behind after your catharsis. Sadly, there are a shortage of these movies,  and I have criteria that only a few movies meet.

1. Someone must die. I don't buy into the cry for a broken romance/unrequited love stuff. Now don't get me wrong, I have personally teared up at some of those movies, but I am not proud of it, and it never really gives the emotional release necessary.
2. Disease is preferable to accident, but accident is preferable to war on the cry scale. You sort of know people are going to die in a war movie, but it rarely makes someone cry.
   
   
3. Unexpected death is the best. I know tons of people who cry at movies like Titanic or Brian's Song, but you know what you are in for when you enter the theater. Likewise, I love a good biopic, but often you know how it is going to end, and real people dieing skirts too close to having to cope with real life. I bawled like crazy at Schinlder's List, but that isn't what I am talking about here.
4.  No death of pets movies. No Marley and Me, no Old Yeller etc. Just, no.
5. I need/want/require real emotion and good acting. Love Story has gotten a reputation for being the go-to weepy movie, but I hate it. Love DOES mean having to say you are sorry, now shut up and die already. Ugh.

So with those standards in mind, I give you my top ten rip your heart out, ugly sobbing, need a whole box of tissues movies:

#10. My Girl (1991)
        Possibly because it was the first movie that made me cry, or because I was 11 when I saw it and it was about an 11 year old girl who loses her best friend, unexpectedly. One day they share their first kiss, and the next he is dead from 100 bee stings. That is harsh.

#9. Little Women (1949) 
        Not an unexpected death to anyone who has read the book or been aware of the story, but still one of the best. I have seen all three versions of the movie and each has wonderful qualities, but for Beth's death scene, the 1949 one is the best. When she says, " I think I shall be homesick for you, even in heaven" I cry every single time.

#8 Moulin Rouge (2001)
         I am not one who often has the romance/drama tearjerkers (which is why there is no Notebook or the like on this list) but this movie embraces the melodrama. Beautiful songs, beautiful actors, beautiful staging and directing put you in to the era of this movie, and you buy Satine's beautiful death.

#7 Dead Poets Society (1989)
          Every Gen X'er I know loves this movie. We all saw it at the perfect time, when friendships were paramount, learning was something to be embraced if only you could find an elder willing to listen as well as teach. Robin Williams is at his best here (and should have won the Oscar, but he equally earned it for Good Will Hunting 8 years later) and Robert Sean Leonard took vulnerability and defiance to a new, startling level.

#6 Boys Don't Cry (1999)
          The only movie on my list I do not watch over and over. In fact, I have only seen it once. That was enough. Yes I am breaking the rule about biopics, but this film broke all the rules, so I think that is only appropriate. I silently wept through half this movie, wiping my eyes because I didn't want to miss anything, but not sure I could watch even another minute. So well done.

#5 Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)
           I know it is a cliche. I know this is one of the ultimate chick flicks. But I saw it on cable again last month, and I still cried, despite having watched this probably 30 times during high school. It has the great combination of being a friendship piece and a family piece, both of which are sure to bring me to tears. Plus Mary Louise Parker does a death scene beautifully.

#4 Philadelphia (1993)
          This one certainly doesn't fall into the unexpected death category, but in the early 90's this whole movie was unexpected, and so important. Being 15 when I saw it in the theater, it opened me up to understand a world I had only read about before, and I felt woefully uninformed. I sought out more information, both about the AIDS epidemic and how it started, spread and reached critical levels, and about the bigotry and hate in our country.

#3 Iron Jawed Angles (2004)
            Also a true story, but not one most people know anything about. And yes, there is a death in it, though I admit that isn't the part where I start crying. I start crying at the torture and force feeding Alice Paul is put though, really let it out during the prison scene when the women all start to sing for unity's sake, and continue on until the end of the movie when the women ear the right to vote. And occasionally I want to cry when I think about what these women did to secure our rights, and how blithely some people treat that privledge today.

#2 Beaches (1998)
             Two girls meet, live, laugh, love, fight, cry and through it all they are the very best of friends. And then one dies. I cry earlier and earlier every time I watch this movie. I'm a sap who loves her friends.

#1 Terms of Endearment (1983)
               There is a reason this movie won 5 Oscars: Picture, Director, Screenplay, Actress and Supporting Actor (for Jack Nicholson, in the most understated role of his career). This movie is simply the best kind of weepie movie there is. Family dynamics that feel real and not glossed over by Hollywood. Relationships that are important but not perfect, and an illness that sneaks up suddenly in the movie so the first time you see it you have no idea it is coming. You think you are watching a relationship drama, and 3/4 of the way through the movie, it is a cancer movie. To the filmmaker's credit, they handle the cancer part with as much honesty and realism as the rest of the movie. Everyone cries at this movie, and everyone has felt like Shirley Maclaine feels when she screams the famous quote, "Give my daughter the shot!"


There you have it. Did I miss any? Do any of these make you wretch rather than cry? Let me know, and meanwhile, if you haven't seen these, get yourself some tissues and Dvds, and have at it!

Adrienne, Yoanna, Eva, Niama, Nicole....

Law and Order. Top Gear. The Simpsons. ER. Survivor. And Miss Tyra. Not many shows have made it to 15 seasons or beyond, and tomorrow marks the premiere of the 15th season of America's Next Top Model. Many people mock it, especially for the complete lack of actual supermodels it has produced. Some consider it a sad commentary on our society and how we objectify women. Other people believe these women are all fame whores who just want to scream and cry and pull hair on tv. All of that may be true. But detractors leave out one simple truth: This shit is fun to watch!

Everyone has a guilty pleasure. Some people stay up late at night watching Antique Roadshow plotting about stealing priceless works from Grandma's attic. Some people watch any show having anything to do with vampires. Some people record 3 hours of soap operas a day just so they can watch all their "stories" on a Friday night. Some people watch Cash Cab and memorize the license plate number in the hopes that someday the cab will drive by, pick her up and she will win a tv game show!! Ok, that last one was me. But of all the junk I watch (and yes, there is more junk), ANTM is my favorite and most embarrassing.

I have seen every episode of every cycle (which is what Miss Tyra calls a season, because she can). I can name, off the top of my head, every winner (including the 10 above, plus the 4 most recent), and probably most of the runners up. Makeover day is my favorite, because it has it all: Tears, joys, fights, and girls learning whether they can really model, or if they just make good tv. I read People magazine and recognize some of the models who were going to "make it" now modeling for JCPenney (which is not "making it"). What I can't explain is why I love it. I mean, I worship my Tivo, yet there have been days when I have watched it live. Seriously. The funny part of all this is while I have no good reason for loving it, I have no intention of giving it up. Because while I used to think I was alone in my love of bad weaves, go-sees that end in tears, the token plus size model and the craziest woman on television, I have learned I am not alone. Smart people I respect watch this show. Men who would swear they watch the show for hot babes have gotten into arguments with me over who should be the next Cover Girl. Beautiful, empowered women who know they should hate everything this show represents watch it religiously. Maybe we all like a train wreck. Or maybe, just maybe, we all want to be just a little more Fierce.

Not just because he married Sydney Bristow

Entertainment Weekly has a feature on Ben Affleck in the new issue (the one with Sandra Bullock on the cover) which I would link to if I could, but they only post some of their articles online and visa versa, which I actually appreciate because then I feel like I subscribe for good reason. In it, they basically say that Ben is a good director, on his way to being a great one. Gone Baby Gone was a well structured movie, Amy Ryan got an Oscar nod, and critics liked it. He is directing The Town which comes out September 17th, and I can not wait to see it. It is a heist movie, and Jon Hamm and Blake Lively are in it. All pluses. Oh, and Ben Affleck is in it. Also a plus.
Yes, that is right. I said Ben Affleck acting in a movie is a plus. I wish him luck in his future directing endeavors, and I think they will be great, but Ben started off an actor, and a damn fine one. So for all the people who automatically hate Ben because he did Gigli, or was half of Bennifer (seriously, Kevin Smith, you had to know that was gonna stick) or because he made the movie Paycheck and spray tanned himself until he resembled George Hamilton, I am here to launch his defense.

Firstly, we know the man can act. He was excellent in Hollywoodland, where he played a dejected has-been who was anxious to reinvent his career. Now, I see the obvious joke there, but he was great in the part, and he had balls to take the role, because EVERYONE saw the obvious joke. He was great in Changing Lanes, where he managed to hold up against Samuel L. Jackson, even while Sam was doing his best scenery chewing. He was great in Chasing Amy, in a role that many people would have gone over the top with. And he was great in Bounce, which was a terrible movie, but he was really good in a thankless role. Which brings us to the second thing we know about Ben: STOP letting your women choose your movies. This has never worked out well. Bounce, Forces of Nature, Paycheck, Jersey Girl (which for the record I loved, but I can recognize the faults of) and yes, Gigli, were all taken under the advice of women. Namely JLo and FakeBrit Gywn. So it isn't taste in movies he had trouble with, it was women. Happily, now that he has the world's coolest wife (she is supermom! she is hot! she was the bestest SpyChick ever!) he can get back to doing what he does best. Acting, writing, directing, and looking dreamy.

And lastly, and perhaps most importantly, the man can make fun of himself. He knows he was way overexposed in the media. He knows that literally kissing Jennifer Lopez's ass in a video was a poor decision. He knows that just because he loved Daredevil as a kid and wanted the movie to be great, willing a movie into greatness does not work. And he knows that if you are going to make a epic war movie that has astounding special effects, you should also make sure it has a PLOT. But everyone gets a bad movie or two without people holding it against them (All the Pretty Horses, Matt? Really?). And if Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back taught us anything, it is that Ben Affleck can take a joke. Especially when the joke is on him.

So no more joking about Ben. He has been a good sport, but he has laid low, made good movies for the past five-ish years, married a great woman, had two adorable girls and has only gotten better looking. And if you still don't love him? It is ok. I have enough love for him to go around.